Friday, August 10, 2012

Women Sociopaths

So, I previously posted about a former husband sociopath, now it's time to move to the women in my life that are afflicted with this disease.  I am talking about a co-worker.  She was new to the department and lacking "friends."  I felt sorry for this person, even though I was warned of her behavior which was very public via her reputation.  I am not one to judge, so I gave her a chance.  This worked out well for a few months, then once she had all she needed from me, she shunned me and turned on me.  She did this by way of trying to make it my fault or my issue.  Outrageous.  Another expample of a sociopath taking advantage of someone who offers nothing but friendship.  Disgusting and, I must say.  I was not ready for this from this person.  Looking back, I should have heeded the warning from those who knew her and who saw this action in her previous role.  Lesson learned and fast.  I distanced myself and will not allow her back into my life. 

14 comments:

Suvivingdaybyday said...

My one question to you: how DID you service and move on? I'm trying...I have so much good in my life and I can't seem to move past this. Any tricks you'd be willing to share?

Sociopath Survivor said...

Great question. I guess it's different for everyone. For me, I changed my surroundings. I did not frequent the same places, do the same things and let go of friends that were not supportive of my new direction. At work, this means a new position, which I am happy to say has finally come to pass. The games did continue for a while, I came to work and told myself "I am not a part of that nonsense and will not let myself talk about it, react to it, and/or acknowledge it." This seemed to work for me.

Sociopath Survivor said...

Moving on has never felt so good. Just the distance I put between myself and those who try and tear me down, is in itself a reward. I feel like a weight is off my shoulders. Having long term great relationships helps as well. There's nothign like great friends to lean on.

Anonymous said...

'Sociopaths' are not only anti-social.I am not an expert (my field is in education) but we all know 2 types of people; those who don't know how to respond when they're wrong and those who enjoy making their wrongs turn into your problem. The former are annoying and yes this dysfunction's part of life. The latter is different;its confusing because they are pleasant, sometimes apologetic, or preacherly, and unoffensive. They enjoy making you feel guilty for having doubts, negative thoughts about them or anything.
I had a roommate in college who only shoplifted when he was in front of the store owner. That's the creepy feeling I get with sociopaths, they like knowing they can see themselves stealing in front of their victims.

If you feel angry by someone's lack of accountability or selfish behavior and let them know in a healthy exchange normal people will be a little upset. If the person is overtly sweet, kind, apologetic and maybe mixes provocative words (ie tolerate) you're dealing with a monster.

Anonymous said...

The benefits of 'surviving' a sociopath is it's easier to spot the next one. They are more prevalent than once believed. They vary in degree and type. The one thing they share is the way they make you feel.

Drama queens may never change but they don't charm you into feeling like you don't know about the almost religious high forgiveness, hope and harmony feels. They may for a moment focus on the real problem; ie.''you need to be on time or text me''. The sociopath moves the oonversation in a general direction; peace, hope, love. they are the true cons. and they love it.

IF YOU'VE EXPERIENCED THIS DON'T FORGET IT. MOVE ON BUT REMEMBER SHOULD IT EVER HAPPEN AGAIN. IT WILL. THEY ARE OUT THERE IN GREATER NUMBERS THAN WE KNOW.

Anonymous said...

It might do you good to give up your victim mentality. Try to learn from your experiences and make better choices in the future. Perhaps continually getting involved with troubled people allows you to be a perpetual victim, and, in turn, allows you avoid the hard work of learning how to relate to people in a normal way. It's important to be honest with yourself and to understand why you continue to make the choices you make. Adults are not victims in relationships, they are volunteers.

Complaining and feeling like a victim all the time negatively affects all the people around you. And it prevents you from growing.

Lastly, I've noticed that people who complain about their narcissistic partners are usually pretty narcissistic themselves. Food for thought.

Sociopath Survivor said...

I agree, harboring a victim mentality is just a recipe for more of the same. And, the reflection needed to move on is very important, as to not make the same mistakes again. Looking at yourself in the mirror, so to speak, and asking yourself what you can do to avoid these situations and people again are very important. This is exactly what we are trying to do with this blog.
I think everyone is a bit narcissistic. It’s a natural survival instinct as a human. However, I do not think everyone is a sociopath or takes advantage of others, regardless if they tend to be somewhat narcissistic.

Anonymous said...

Oh, okay. I thought the purpose of the blog was to dwell on past offenses perpetrated upon you by extremely self-centered and/or troubled people, people you're diagnosing as sociopathic. The tone of the blog sounds very victim-centered, as if you haven't moved on but are simply awaiting the next encounter with someone you can label in this way and complain about.

Good for you if you plan to learn from your mistakes and simply avoid such people in the future.

Anonymous said...

Re Anonymous "Dec 4th" I guess you could read some of the posts as you claim "labeling the next person you run into." But hey, if you don't want to read it, and don't agree with it, simply move on. No need to bash people who are sharing experiences.

Anonymous said...

I wasn't meaning to bash anyone, as you phrased it. I was pointing out that the tone of the blog sounds suspiciously self-righteous, and like that of a perpetual victim.

Consistently putting psychiatric labels on others and seeing the world through that lens may be a sign of projection, i.e., the person herself may, in fact, be the one with the problem. And is perhaps the one who treats others badly, and then turns it around and blames them for her own offenses. In other words, being the actual bully, but then seeing herself as the victim, and then starting a crusade to get others to see things the same way.

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