Keeping It Together

Still amazed... After 6 years and virtually no contact with the sociopath, or as I was corrected previously the "anti-social" person, in my life, there are still issues that linger with friends we have in common. Most recently, I was visiting a couple who still maintain some contact with the anti-social individual. A topic came up which I had never really discussed in detail with our mutual friends. I always tried to stay away from mud slinging in my situation. BUT, it was time to set the record straight. We sold a piece of property during our divorce, as many couples do. This property was jointly owned. The Realtor we used was a mutual business acquaintance and was contracted by both of us. She is very professional and had recently been recognized by her broker as "top realtor" when she took on the listing. My ex had known our Realtor for about 20 years, I had only known her about 4 years. The goal was to sell the house quickly so we would not have to pay a mortgage after we had both moved out. She was able to find us buyers in less than a week and the house sold. The average time on the market was less than a month, so one week was not too terribly unusual. I guess this was not what my ex wanted, so he accused her of dealing behind the scenes with me regarding price and filed a grievance against her with the state board of Realtors in our state. This was untrue and caused her a lot of pain. She had to work with the board for a year to clear this up. I was deposed for my "part" which was non-existent, and the allegations were eventually dismissed. Point being here is that all of our mutual friends thought my ex was and still think that "he's such a nice guy." Well, when the house selling came up, I told the story. I was amazing to see our mutual friends' reaction. They were shocked that he would do such a thing, and they also know the Realtor and were very familiar what she went through. They just did not have any detail into who filed and for what reason. They did not know it was a result of our listing. I think shedding the light on this was enough reality to make them doubt "what a nice guy" he really is, and that maybe he's a little sick, as I had previously told them. I know it's wrong, but I did feel a little vindication with their reaction.

Again and Again

How is it that these people find me? Is it that I am just more sensitive to their characteristics? Or, am I drawn to them. Here goes.

I was approached by someone from my past last summer via a social networking site. I had not heard from this person in years, nearly 30 years as a matter of fact. I began rehashing the past with this individual, talking about old times and what and where we had each been since. I found myself want to know more about this person. It was like a time capsule being opened up and that made me feel young again. So, I arranged to meet this person and spend some time with them. At first it was fine. But, as time went on it became apparent to me that this person was a little "off." I could not put my finger on what exactly was going on, but something was just not right. The one thing that set me off kilter was that he wanted me to move in with him before he had even physically spent any time at all with him. Just up and move in? WOW, now that's a stretch. How do you just ask someone to move in with you after almost 30 years of no contact at all. Mind you that we did not have any romantic relationship 30 years prior either. Just friends, if even that. My radar went up immediately, as it should have. But, instead of ending the "friendship" and I use that term loosely regarding this person, I found myself curious as to what he was all about. So, I let things continue and I arranged to meet him in person. We met, spend some time together and decided that we may want to see where this may go. Once I was back in my comfort zone, I realized that this was a huge mistake. He felt too much like what I previously had dealt with, a sociopath. I quickly ended things and tried to move on. Well, wouldn't you know it... He quickly started to slander me via the social network we were both members of. Sound a little like deja vu? Yep, definitely. I quickly blocked and removed everywhere he was ever at in my "on-line" communities. I felt bad for a while afterwards, thinking maybe I was jumping to conclusions about him? Well, low and behold, just last week a common "acquaintance" of both of us sent me a copy of a posting he made during one of his rants with another person. His statement was "I think I speak for all . . ." (I edited which [group] he claimed to be speaking for). But, I feel so good that I ended all contact with this individual. How in the heck can you claim to speak for all anything? WOW, sociopath egotist for sure. Another crisis adverted.